Over the past decade or two, there has been much debate about same sex marriages and heterosexual marriages. There have many well-intended arguments for, and against same sex marriages.
However, I believe there are some heterosexual marriages that are just as displeasing to God as homosexual marriages. In our society today, we have many couples who married because of what they could get out of the marriage. They wanted love on their terms; they wanted security on their terms; they wanted success on their terms; etc.
In Ephesians 5:21 Paul tells us: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” It is possible to have a heterosexual marriage, but still refuse to submit to each other. Many well-intended marriages turn into ‘control’ duals. Each spouse wants to control the other spouse. They gather all types of ‘ammo’ to use against their spouse. They become so concerned about the faults of their spouse that they fail to see their positive traits. The things that bought them together soon become the things that drive them apart. Why do they drive them apart? It is because they do not want to surrender control to someone else. They would rather criticize each other than surrender control of the marriage.
Many of the statements that marriage counselors hear from a spouse when counseling them, are incomplete. They tend to leave off a very import phrase at the end of their complaint. They should add this phrase “…the way I think it should be.” I hear wives complaining about the husband not being the spiritual leader. But the wife fails to follow the spiritual leading of the husband because his leadership is not what the she thinks it should be. Husbands cannot lead unless they have someone follow them.
On the other hand, many husbands expect their wives to become slaves. Many husbands tend to abuse their wives. They tend to treat their wives as their personal servant, doing all the things the husband wants done. If the wife does something differently than the husband expects, the husband will complain about it, making the wife feel like she did something wrong.
These husband and wife issues are natural occurrences. When God disciplined Eve for eating the forbidden fruit, He said that the woman’s desire would be to control the husband but the husband would rule over her. (See Genesis 3:16)
The Bible says husbands are to love their wives “just as God loved the church and gave himself up for her.” The love that Paul is telling about in Ephesian 5 is a “giving” love and not a “getting” love. God wants marriages to be a loving relationship; a relationship that puts the other spouse first. God also wants both spouses to follow His guidance through the Holy Spirit.
When the husband and the wife follow the leadership of the Holy Spirit, they become a cord of three strands. It becomes a marriage where husband, wife, and God have a mutual purpose. Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” This is the only type of marriage that will be pleasing to God. It is a Godly marriage. It will be a marriage filled the happiness and the satisfaction that couple desire.
NOTE: Scripture quoted in this blog were downloaded from www.biblegateway.com