Tag Archives: Love. Marriage

What Makes a Marriage Bloom?

Every young person has dreams about their future. They have certain goals that they hope to accomplish; they want to be valued by the society in which they live.

The young lady will dream of weddings with all the frills and a wedding dress that will be better and prettier than any other wedding dress. She dreams of living in a beautiful home where everything is perfect. Somehow in the dreams the house always stays well kept. It never needs cleaning or dusting. There are never dirty clothes on the floor. Somehow the clothes never need washing, ironing, or being hung on hangers.

The young lady dreams about her wonderful husband that loves her so much that she gets every desire of her heart. He earns enough money that there is always money for dining out or attending a cultural event. There is always enough money to take a cruise or a vacation to the mountains, lake, or beach. In her dreams, there is nothing but love and protection. Her husband will never make a mistake.

The young man on the other hand dreams of having this important job as an executive or an indispensable employee. He dreams of the money he will make and how he will always drive the nicest car in the neighborhood, he will own the nicest house on the block. He may also dream of this beautiful boat that he can take to the lake and impress everyone with the beauty and size of his boat. He may dream of playing golf every week-end or going to the gym. Or he may dream of having a workshop where he can work on cars or boats; or perhaps work on various wood working projects that he makes to improve the decor of his house or make it more organized.

The young man may even dream about this beautiful woman that will treat him like a king. She will prepare his meals at just the right time; the meals will always be done to perfection; and there will never be a dirty dish in the sink. His clothes will always be washed, iron, and hung in the closet. Life will be wonderful. This woman will always be ready for intimacy at the snap of his fingers. Life will be so wonderful. His wife will never do anything that would displease him.

Then the day comes along when the lady and the man decided they have met their wonderful spouse. They date for a while with each person putting the other person into their own dreams. The day comes when they decide to get married. They may experience a little trouble in their intended mate but it will go away after they are married.

The couple gets married and reality sets in. The wife tried to make her husband fit the dreams that she had. She realizes that he does not have an unlimited income; he wants to have home prepared meals; his clothes get dirty and are always lying around. He has different ideas about what the home should look like; he gets tired after working all day long; and he is not the ‘knight in shining armor’ that she was dating. She just cannot make her husband into the man she dreamed would be her husband.

The husband begins to realize that she is not intimate at the snap of his fingers; she sometimes burns the food; she wakes up looking a mess and may even be a little grouchy; and she always seems to need money for something. There is not enough money to buy the car of their dreams or the house with the nice workshop. The wife sometimes gets tired after cleaning the house all day or running errands for him. She does not seem to be interested in becoming the girl of his dreams.

And they both think: “What have I done?” The marriage begins spiraling down and divorce begins to enter their minds. Their spouse has ruined their dreams. Rather than looking at the good things about their spouse, they begin looking for all the bad they have done. They start keeping score. They use the mistakes of their spouse like ammunition in the attempt to recover that dream they had before they were married.

But God has something much better for them if they willing to trust Him.

1 Corinthians 13 is considered the love chapter of the Bible. It is frequently used in Christian weddings but is not often understood. People tend to think the love just happens. Love is a choice we make. It is an emotion that requires action on our part. Here is what it says:

 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

  • Love is patient,
  • love is kind.
  • It does not envy,
  • it does not boast,
  • it is not proud.
  • It does not dishonor others,
  • it is not self-seeking,
  • it is not easily angered,
  • it keeps no record of wrongs.
  • Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
  • It always protects,
  • always trusts,
  • always hopes,
  • always perseveres.

Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:3-8a.(NIV)

This passage was not intended to be a definition of love but rather it is what happens to make love develop. It is the prescription for love. When we are self-centered and hoard everything for ourselves, we are not showing love because love cannot exist in these conditions. For love to exist, this is what you need to do:

  • Be patient,
  • Be kind.
  • Do not envy,
  • Do not boast,
  • Do not become proud.
  • Do not dishonor others,
  • Do not become self-seeking,
  • Do not easily become angry,
  • Do no keep record of wrongs.
  • Do not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
  • Always protects,
  • Always trusts,
  • Always hopes,
  • Always perseveres.

Then you will begin to experience love. It is then that you once again to see ‘the girl of your dreams’ or ‘your knight in shining armor’ because these actions are probably what you did before you were married.

Just as plants need the right fertilizer to produce beautiful blooms, love also needs the right fertilizer to produce. Doing the right things serves as the fertilizer needed for love to bloom. So rather than slinging mud at your partner because they are not what you expected, start sprinkling them with the proper balance of ‘fertilizer’ and they will become the person they should be; the person you wanted in your dreams. Your marriage will begin bloom again.

NOTE: Scripture used in this blog was downloaded from www.biblegateway.com